My Name, A living memory

20 April 2009

Went to watch Fast & Furious 4 with MQ, I don't wanna stay at home. I will think a lot of rubbish. Even waiting for bus for 15mins, so many shit went thru my head. Flashbacks... I hate it. But I couldn't stop myself not to. I'm like a normal person while I'm outside.. Happily enjoying.. and when I'm home. I tried to get myself into sleep.. I eat sleeping pill. It still can't help.

He smsed: Happier now?
I replied: Why? How's your conscience?
He replied again: Bad.
I asked: About what?
He replied: the whole thing.

Love is something you cannot control. How can you not into it when it just started? How am I able not into it when I want to know my partner more? Be heartless, so that you won't feel the pain? I hate being like this. It's almost 4am. I can't get into sleep.

He leave it to me how I wanna think. Everything seems like my fault. I went through every single sms he sent when I want to delete it.. before we got together. He's so nice and sweet. But after that... he's so strict and cold blooded. Everything changed. SHIT HAPPENS. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!

happy smile with pair of sad eyes.